| The
1997 Bag Open was played September 28th at Hickory Grove G.C. in
Harpster, Ohio. The field consisted of James
"Chop" Thompson, Casey "The Village Idiot"
Meloy, "Jungle" Dave Roszman and Larry "Slash and
Burn" Laird. Also slated for action was Jason, the
Jaybird "Chicken Legs" Alexander but he was a late
scratch due to domestic interference. It was a balmy 38 degrees
with a freshening breeze of about 30 MPH directly out of the north
when the quartet marched to the first tee following a two
hour warm-up in the lounge. Special local rules prevail at the Bag
Open, one of whichi s the use of the "bag" |
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| tees.
Contestants are required to tee off at the very tips of the blue tees
with one foot actually off the tee box. "Slash and
Burn" got off to a slow start on number one with a birdie and was
quickly sent to the back of the bus on the second, as high score on a
hole wins the honors. Play was shoddy and then deteriorated.
Some time later the group reached number four, a par three measuring
about 230 yards from the bag tee.
The fourth was the
site of the "designated club". All contestants were
required to hit a 3 three iron to the uphill par 3. Apparently,
someone actually hit the green but it remains unclear who that player
was.
On it went, with much
slashing, chopping, and falling to the ground. The competition
was intense! At some point, the contestants finally reached the
9th, and with renewed vigor, the lounge in sight, finished the front
side. There were no injuries reported.
After considerable
delay in the lounge, it was found that "The Village Idiot"
had posted the high score for the first nine holes, a fine 49, and
held a four or five stroke lead over "Jungle Dave".
"Chop" and "Slash and Burn" were pretty much out
of it, in more ways than one.
Play finally resumed
on the back side, although little is known of what actually occured.
It is generally conceded that the match was mercifully halted after
hole number 12 due to darkness and complete lack of interest.
The "Village Idiot" was declared the winner, given an
autographed picture of "Miss June 1967" and sent on his way. |
