| The BO in
1998 was truly a tragic event, with inclement weather drastically
reducing the size of the field. Originally scheduled for late October,
it was postponed to December 5th with hopes of colder temperatures.
Unfortunately, this was not the case in early December as spring like
weather forced Bushwood to remain open for play, and keeping James
CHOP Thompson off the starting grid. The same was true for Casey
The Village Idiot Meloy as Marion Country Club was still open.
Thus, it remained to the three remaining bags, Jungle Dave Roszman,
Lover Boy Chicken Legs Alexander and Larry Slash and Burn Laird to
carry the burden of carrying on the rich tradition of the event.
To make matters
worse, The 98 Bag Open was probably the worst organized mess ever
staged! Chop totally collapsed as leader of the outing, having
absolutely no idea what he was doing. Asked to provide
refreshments and a minute level of structure to the scheduling of the
tournament, he literally puked all over himself. Despite his
ineptitude, the event was actually staged.
Chicken, Slash and
Jungle teed off on the Bag tees at Bushwood at approximately 2 PM. The
Bag tees are located back behind the Blue tees, basically behind the
tee box. Chicken immediately blocked his tee ball into the right
fairway bunker and the tears began to flow. Slash and Jungle
went left and both easily missed the fairway. Slash began to
grind for no apparent reason, Chicken continued to bawl like a 2 year
old and Jungle remained lost as usual. Play continued in this
manner with occasional taunts being tossed in for good measure.
Chicken decided to take umbrage of Slash's grinding and Slash joined
Chicken in his sobbing, stating that he couldn't help it since he had
just returned from a Florida golf trip. Meanwhile, Jungle, still
without a clue, was quietly posting high score and snatching the Bag
Open lead.
And so it was, after
nine holes, Jungle with a one stroke lead over the red eyed Chicken
with Slash trailing the field badly. A much needed break was
taken in the Pro Shop, as Chicken replenished his supply of Kleenex,
Slash did his best to apologize for his bad (good) front side and
Jungle remained totally out of touch. Then it was on to the back side!
Chicken vowed before
his tee ball on 10 to out grind Slash, a threat that Slash
effortlessly sloughed off by birdying the hole. Jungle became worried
about his lead as Chicken easily made double bogey, an effort he
matched on the next, the par 3 11th. Chicken had snatched the lead
from Jungle Dave with back to back doubles! After some
discussion on number 12 tee, it was agreed to make this the last hole.
When it was mercifully over, Chicken had a 1 stroke victory over the
nearly comatose Jungle and Slash was still grinding towards oblivion.
It is painfully
obvious that the future of the Bag Open is seriously threatened by
this year's debacle, and there's considerable work to be done in the
next year if it is to survive. There has been some discussion
about moving the event to another venue or even postponing it until
around 2080. If the event is to again be played, it is obvious
that changes will have to be made. |
