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| The 2000 Bag Open |
| Slash
tastes Victory for the First Time ! |
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| November
12, 2000, Bushwood C.C.
In
an emotion packed day marked by the remarkable return of Slash
and Burn from near career ending surgery, the King Bag
prevailed, besting the field by one stroke in the 2K edition
of the Bag Open! Slash, the sentimental favorite, never
wavered from his mission this cold, dreary day at the luscious
Bushwood links. His gritty performance drew accolades from
his fellow competitors in |
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the heated
event.The
Village Idiot paid this complement,
"You're a Cheatin' bastard, I got
screwed royally!" Others,
like CHOP, saved their praise for later.
See sidebar to right. Also, see
complete coverage of CHOP
at the Ohio Open. Lumpy, if
you happen to read this, please click
here to learn what the Bag Open is
all about! By the way, Lumpy
provided the quote of the year by saying
"I'm trying to bag it but I'm
just TOO GOOD ! Even when I don't
even try, I stripe it every time
!" More
on Slash's gutty recovery and
inspiring story.
The Bag
Open field was once again full as all
six invitees actually participated!
Lumpy made his debut, finally, and
judging by his ridiculous performance,
perhaps his last in this hallowed event.
Lumpy is NOT a team player at all, much
has to change with this lad's demeanor
before he's again allowed to be part of
this field. Even Jay Chicken Legs Lover
Boy made it this year, which was
actually incredible! For those of
you that don't know, Chicken is the
ultimate "victim", as someone
is always conspiring to screw him over
in some way. While he remained
dewy-eyed all day, he did not ever break
completely down into a sobbing wail.
Perhaps the therapy is finally helping.
CHOP arrived with what he claimed was a
bad hang-over, although is soon deduced
that he had not taken his lithium.
By the time the golf was over, he was a
raving lunatic and finally begged for
his psycho-meds, drooling all over
everyone with his mouth hanging open.
Pitiful. The Village pulled a Gore
after the match, and decided he wanted a
recount. Jungle spent most of the day
trying to out Lump Lumpy, grinding his
ass off in a most embarrassing fashion.
He also needs a good talking to!
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The 2000 Bag
Open Field |
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left
to right; Jungle
Dave Roszman, CHOP
Thompson.
Slash and Burn Laird, Chicken
Legs Lover Boy Alexander, Lumpy
Byers, and of course, last, The
Village Idiot Meloy |
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Chop
Thompson.
right begs Slash for his much needed
medication |
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CHOP
PENS PROTEST OVER 2000 BAG OPEN |
| King
Bag (Slash), |
| You
are one lucky piece of shit. You
intentionally made no effort to make
that putt on #18. Hole #17 was
bullshit. You knew exactly what
was going on. I am one bitter
asshole. I am the only original
BAG to never win. This is a crock.
Lumpy should be tossed out, he is too
damn good. You should council his ass on
what it means to be a BAG. His
play was a disgrace to the event.
There were too many birdies. Five
out of six players birdie Hole #9.
What the hell is going on. You
have lost control of this sacred event. In 1997 Village wins with a 49 on the
front, hell the best score that day was
a 43. We need a date change,
format change, get this damn thing under
control. I propose a new date, and
hazards and o.b. are in play. You need
to take aggressive action on this
matter. Get your head out of your
ass. You better reply you pussy. Later you f**k! |
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