.......you may be asking yourself.  A few words of explanation. The Bag Open is a very loosely organized annual golf tournament held in North Central Ohio featuring seven golfing buddies.  These "friends" refer to themselves as "bags". A bag is a player that either is 1) A complete hacker - someone who can't hit it out their shadow, and whose only real purpose for being on a golf course is to slow down play for everyone else and generally irritate the hell out of everyone, also referred to as a "bowler" because he it would be better for everyone if he were bowling and not clogging up the golf course......or 2) A good player, with a single digit handicap that has the unnerving ability to "bag" a good round by suddenly falling apart in the middle of his round for no apparent reason. These seven "bags" fall into that second category - they're all bags, and their tournament is the Bag Open.

Now, about the Bag Open.It is played late in the year due to the fact that one of the bags works at golf courses and is unavailable for play any other time.  He actually considers himself a PGA Professional, hahahahahaha!  There are some specific rules that apply to the Bag Open.

1. The course is played as far back as possible, at the very tips of the blue tees. Actually, one foot must be off the back of the tee box. 2. High score wins, not low score, chopping and hacking is wildly encouraged. 3. All Bag Open's are played at Bushwood Country Club where the fourth hole is a 245 yard (Bag Tee) uphill par three usually played into the wind. This is the "designated club" hole where all players must hit a 3 iron. 4.All players must be at least moderately drunk before teeing off, and are required to continue to drink during the round. 5.The Bag Open shall be 18 holes of golf that most always is shortened to 12, usually because of Rule #4 but sometimes because of lack of continuing interest by all those involved. 

Aren't you glad you read all this, are you wondering at this point why you bothered?