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| Bag Player Profile |
| Curt Lumpy Byers, is
this BOZO really a Bag? |
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| Lumpy
"Curt" Curtis Byers, another supposed
PGA Club Professional joins the original five bags as the newest
hackmeister. Lumpy will debut his questionable act at the 1999
Bag Open. The Lump's swing actually makes most of the other bags
efforts look like works of art with his delicate flat-footed
slap move. I mean, just look at this swing(?) Does this guy ever
have ANY chance of playing ? Curt hoods everything to gain a bit
of distance since any turn is out of the question given that 1)
His ass is the size of New Jersey and 2) 99.23% of his massive
girth is on his heels and 3) His pants are constantly in danger
of falling off because he wears them about mid crack. Lump
promises to be a great addition to the Bag Open, according to
Chicken Legs. Chicken believes Lumpy may be someone he
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| can actually beat! Only time will tell
however, but hopefully the Jaybird will best the newcomer and stay dry
eyed this year. NOTE: February 16, 2002 It has been
brought to the attention of the Bag Open Executive Committee that
Lumpy Byers has only competed in 1 of 3 Bag Opens since he has been
eligible! This is a very serious breach of decorum and must be dealt
with harshly. The committee will meet to address this situation. I
wouldn't be surprised to see Lumpy totally shit-canned! |
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