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| Bag Player Profile |
| Casey the Village
Idiot Meloy |
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| Originally
from Krakow, Poland, Casey's real name is Krazichienski
Meloncraniac, meaning one who's brain has the characteristics of
a muskmelon. The Village remains an illegal alien in this
country without a green card. A large man-child, standing 6'
4" and weighing in excess of 300 pounds, it has been
reported that he also possesses extremely small genitalia. (this,
according to Chicken Legs) The
Village has a swing that can be clocked with a sundial and
perhaps his greatest golfing endeavor has been his fabled 267
yard driver toss, which remains his personal best in spite of
numerous efforts to best his own record. Other golfing
feats include, $500 driver |
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| heave into a tree, introduction of the
revolutionary bent shaft putter, and a remarkable ability to totally
cash in his chips during a match after one bad shot. Village's swing
begins by completely wrapping the club around his neck, featuring
innumerous hand and wrist combinations. From there, well outside
the line, he makes a valiant effort to find the elusive
"slot". Being in such a position at the top, of course,
makes it physiologically impossible to return the club face to the
ball with any force. This coupled with his blazing club head
speed of 67 MPH make meaningful contact unobtainable. |
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