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Jekyll 2006 a Split Field
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 Because of the health
and subsequent passing of
Laird family Patriarch, Earle (Windesmear) Laird, the field for this year's
event was reduced by three. Namely, Larry, Steve, and Phil Laird did not shoe up
for this year's event on the Isle. I just received a group of photos from Dan
Pickett. I expect to get some material from the boys soon describing the
excursion. I'll do my best to update this page as time goes by. |
More Pictures from
2006 Just In - Brian Rowe sent me some more pictures from the November-December
Group. (click on thumbnails for full picture, use the 'back' arrow in your
browser to return to this page)
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Jekyll Island 2006 Part 2 |
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The Real
Excursion! |
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Small Block Hemi 2,
Steve, Phil, and Laaarrry |
| Or you could call it Jekyll 2006, The Deuce, whichever you
prefer. The three members of the Laird family that were unable to attend the
attend the regularly scheduled Island getaway assembled on the Isle in early
February, 2007 to finish what was started in late 2006. Joining them was
Steve's friend and golfing companion, Kevin, Small Block Hemi 2, Buckley,
of Jacksonville.
At any rate, our weather was just great. We
were in shorts except for our last day, which was cool and extremely windy.
We enjoyed highs in the high 60's to mid 70's. We started our trip as we
always seem to do with a round at Laurel Island Links just across the
border. No one played especially well there so it served us well as a
warm-up round. Golf at Jekyll started on Monday with 36 holes that day, the
next and finishing up with 36 more on Wednesday. Kevin played 36 with us on
Monday and then the morning round on Tuesday. He then left for Jacksonville
to attend to a little business. He was then picking up his wife and driving
up to Hilton Head for more golf.
No report of Part 2 of Jekyll would be
complete without the injury report. First, Steve came down with gout and
found he had forgotten his medication. He played one day seriously hobbled
with a severely swollen big toe. A call back to his wife and some medication
was called into the Jekyll Pharmacy and he was on his way to recovery.
Unfortunately, Steve posted a couple of big scores with that swollen
toe that affected his average score. He also had a proclivity to make 7 on
all par 5's which slowed him down dramatically. I mean, he was almost
automatic with the 7's on the 5 pars (as Johnny Miller would bleat). It was
starting to piss even me off!!
Laarry came to the Isle with the same bad
right knee he had last year. He has about half the cartilage left in that
joint that's required. It held up pretty decent until the night of the
second day at Jekyll. The boys were dining on some excellent seafood and
Vodka at Latitude 31 when Laarry stood up from the table to find he'd
pinched a nerve somewhere and it was affecting his right hip. After
returning to the abode and downing more Vodka, he sought rest. But, there
was none to be had and he spent a sleepless night with hip, leg, and knee
pain. In the morning he and Phil made a call to Dr. Huffer in Indiana to get
his opinion. Shad (not his real name) confirmed a pinched nerve and
recommended more powerful drugs than we could get our hands on and, (of
course) an adjustment from a Chiropractor. None of those available either.
Anyway, Laarry laid out the morning round and then joined in for the final
18. He didn't play that well with the knee and hip but what the hell, right?
One lesson well learned this trip from
Small Block was that anytime is the right time to heave a club. I did not
witness Andy throw this year but I don't believe that I'm stretching it a bit
when I award Kevin Small Block Hemi 2 Buckley the 2006 1/2 Jekyll Island
Club Club Heaving Award. Small Block achieved near God Status in club throwing
expertise in just two days on the Island in February, 2007. Andy will
have to bow down before him and kiss his ring. Kevin would like to join us again in the
Fall and we told him that he's certainly welcome. Just be a little careful
as he can launch a rocket at any time!
Stats and pictures
Here's some thumbnails below, click on them for larger
pictures. (Use the 'back' arrow in your browser to return to this page) |
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Stats for Jekyll Part Deuce |
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Player |
Total Holes |
Average Score |
Birdies |
| Kevin (Hemi 2) |
36 |
83 |
0 |
| Steve |
90 |
86.6 |
3 |
| Phil |
90 |
79.8 |
3 |
| Laarry |
72 |
81.2 |
4 |
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| About:Stats |
| I was actually impressed by the play of
everyone in our group although sometimes the scores did not reflect it. More
about that in the general write up above. At any rate, Steve was crushing his new Cobra driver. He
was hitting his drives longer than I've ever seen him hit the ball. His iron
play was very good as well - most of the time. He also took a spell where he
was making a lot of putts. Steve suffered a couple of high scores that drove
his average up. Kevin strikes the ball very well. He had a new set of irons
that he was trying to get used to and he was, by his own admission, a little
golfed out, having played about 20 rounds in the last month. Phil was as
large as ever off the tee, hitting the same Cobra driver (not true, Steve is
hitting a Cleveland Launcher and Phil is swinging the same Adams Redline
driver he has been for awhile) his Dad is. No one is using a focking Cobra
Driver! He had
a couple of bad 18's for some reason or his scoring average would have been
77-78, which is what he shot most of the rounds. Would have been lower
except for some assorted brain farts and his morbid fear of 'white death'.
Finally, Laarry didn't do so bad either. He hit his driver pretty decent
most of the time, some actually pretty long for an old guy. His iron play
was not quite up to his usual standards but it was adequate. Putting was
so-so. Laarrry does not believe in 'white death' and while he spent
considerable time at the beach, he had no trouble getting out of the sand
boxes. Laarry had a couple of high rounds but mainly shot what his average
was. |
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Club Heaving Award |
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Hand's Down Winner - Small Block
Hemi 2
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| Play in Pain First Place |
| Steve Laird (Toe) |
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| Play in Pain 2nd Place |
| Laaarry Laird (Hip, knee) |
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Worst Bunker Play Award |
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Phil Laird (Mr. White Death) |
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Most 7's on Par 5's
Award |
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Steve Laird (All but one) |
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White Sweat Award |
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Phil Laird after a quart of Rum and jaw full of
Skoal |
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Ruffles have Ridges Award |
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Small Block, for wolfing down a jumbo size bag in
46 seconds flat |
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Kennel Club Award |
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Laarry, for yelling at the neighbor's dog to shut
the fuck up |
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Puke Award |
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Dan Pickett for suffering the "Revenge of
Blackbeards" |
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Worst Swing Award |
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Matt Fletcher - damnedest thing I've ever seen! |
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Least Athletic Award |
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Shad, Need to ask Andy why |
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Upper Lip Award |
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Brian - DON'T ASK WHY |
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Most Improved Award |
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Dan, for some reason |
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Best Putting Award |
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Craig - repeat winner |
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Most Athletic Award |
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Andy, again - Why??? |
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Worst Scorekeeping Award |
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Craig, he has had all the cards since Dec.5th and
has done nothing |
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Best Modeling Award |
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Matt, for wearing a sixth grader's underwear |
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Hottest New Car Award |
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Hemi (the original) |
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Best Keno Player Award |
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Craig |
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Clear Breakfast Room Award |
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Shad, after finding and holding up a hair found in
his gravy and yelling, "Hair Gravy is BACK!" |
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Disappearing Act Award |
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Andy, always not there when it was time to leave |
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Room Change Award |
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3 total changes, Brian and Andy, 1st no carpet or
furniture, 2nd no electricity |
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Most Fairways Hit Award |
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Dan - 99% |
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Least Fairways Hit Award |
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Matt - 1% |
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Up and Down Award |
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Brian - unbelievable! |
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Scorecard Whore Award |
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Matt - hit NO greens and got magical 1 putts
because putts from fringe don't count |
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Most Fearless Poker Award |
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Hemi (the original) |
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The Quality Inn at Jekyll Island was offering
for the first time, "free wifi" for all their guests. The unfortunate aspect of
all this was that it had a somewhat limited range and was only available within 3
feet of the front office.
Forays into the front office were risky at best
as they usually meant a confrontation with Phil's newly adopted Mother, Hagatha,
shown below. Hagatha had a total monopoly on the Inn's Office computer, manning
the box from sun-up until well after sundown.
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Hagatha - Phil's New Mom |
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Don't Fly United, for God's Sake! |
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by Laarry |
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I apparently had the ole crack pipe once too often
last fall because when it came to booking air for my flight to Jacksonville, I
somehow booked United Airlines. Please do yourselves a big favor and never, ever
try to fly United! A little history is in order.
Almost 20 years ago the Katwoman and I were
embarking on our honeymoon after finally consummating about 10 years of shacking
up. We were going to Cancun, that (at that time) newly discovered Pearl of the
Caribbean, or Gulf of Mexico or something. The deal came with air and the
carrier was - United. We were to fly from Columbus to Chicago and then on to
Cancun. First of all, it's December and it's about 10 degrees outside. We board
our plane in Columbus and find ourselves sitting at the gate for nearly two
hours with NO HEAT while some of their bozos try to figure out why the plane
won't go. Very comforting indeed.
After we froze for the given two hours the
crate finally takes off we make it to Chicago only to find out that our plane to
Mexico is broke and they can't fix it. They get another plane out and it's broke
too but in a different place. So, after nearly a 12 hour delay they decide to
take parts off the second plane and fix the first one. Finally, we take off and
actually make it to Cancun without going down in a ball of fire. I swore that
day I'd never fly United again.
Twenty years later I'm forced to fly United
again. I put off booking air in the fall because of Dad's health. Things were
looking a bit better so I went ahead and booked - but, because of the late date,
Delta, Southwest and all other real airlines were booked up. Hence
United.
I then had to cancel the trip and defer my
ticket. United says no problem, just fork over an additional $75 when you decide
to go. Fair enough but when I try to rebook, it ends up costing me another $146
not $75. Nice!!! Then the coup de grace, my return flight from Jacksonville to
Chicago sits at the gate in JAX for over an hour and when it finally does take
off, flies at about 100 miles an hour, arriving in Chicago after my connecting
flight to Columbus has already left.
I'm put on standby by United and find that I
can't get on the next 3 flights to Columbus. Finally, at 12:40 AM the next
fucking day, I board a rickety piece of shit for my ride to Columbus. I get home
a little past 3 AM on Saturday. I could have damned near driven home in the time
it took me to fly United Airlines. I was treated like some kind of a moron
because I missed my flight, even though I had nothing to do with it in the first
place.
But, I guess I am a moron, I bought a ticket
from United Airlines. Don't you be a moron too, OK?
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Phil Says: |
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Jekyll Observations: |
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Courses are a little brown in February |
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Oleander needs to be elevated two feet |
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Jekyll Burgers are still good |
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Don't believe that Delancey's (and gay bartender
Lance) can hold a candle to the former Bennigan's |
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If Dave Huffer opened a pizza place on Jekyll, he
would sell 73,000 pies annually at 900% mark-up |
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Captain Joe's will still give you the screaming
shits and their potatoes are still fu*king hot |
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