The Trip is History for 2007 - One of the Best Ever!
The Photos are now Online! Follow
the link to photos above. Someone riddle me this. Hemi 1 spent 41 hours, 32
minutes, and 40 seconds in the Quality Inn office for reasons "unknown". Why
didn't he take a picture of Heidi?
I'm working on the Awards, thanks for the
submissions. Please see the Awards Page for
the latest! And, I have a new podcast - link at right.
It will take some time to get this site updated
with all the results, pictures, videos, awards, and other assorted banality. The
Badger was, as always, right on top of things. I received some pictures from him
as I was checking my email in the spacious Skybus terminal as Phil and his
family and I were preparing to leave Florida on Tuesday. I will be updating the
site as time permits and material becomes available. The
Score sheet is up.
There was one card missing but Phil gave me his score on that card. Matt and
Brian Rowe have no score that last round on Oleander.
The Downfall of the New England Patriots Dynasty
Today's Fun Facts - While you wait
for further updates
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now known as The Islands.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless
phone.
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines. He
simply says, "Now!"
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300 game. Without a
ball. And, he wasn't even in a bowling alley.
Smallblock's Golf Talk - Instruction for the Masses
"Just
Aim for the 150 off the tee - IF there is a stake in the middle of the
fairway."
"On approach shots, picture
two hula hoops, one where the ball will land, and one where it bounces to."
"To shoot under par, you just have to hit
every fairway, every green, and make a few putts."
"It's NOT how you drive, it's how you
ARRIVE!"
"Does anybody have a ball retriever?"
AND FINALLY! The line of the entire
2007 Trip
"If my Grandma had balls, she'd be my
Aunt."
Smallblock Hemi Two - Master of the Obvious
Jekyll Team Makes Short Work of RV Alumni
Outing
August 4, 2007 Marion, Ohio -
A team consisting of the cream of the Annual Jekyll
participants teed it up in the 2007 version of the River Valley
High School Alumni Outing at King's Mill Golf Course and bested a
semi-strong field by posting a score of 56, 14 under par. Team
members were Matt Fletcher, The Badger Huffer, Phil Laird and
Laarry Laird. The group was never seriously challenged and actually
backed off to avoid totally embarrassing the remainder of the
field. It was truly a group effort, featuring massive drives by
Phil Laird and The Badger (some of which actually remained on the
property), good putting and iron play by all members of the team.
One of the high points was Matt canning a 70 foot downhill putt
after a customary large tee ball to the green by Phil for an eagle
two. Another bonus was the play of Mr. Fletcher in general. He
managed to actually hit most of his shots straight without his
usual coon low pull hook to oblivion! (photos courtesy of
The Badger)
QUOTE OF THE DAY -
“Oh
I might want to put this beer down before they take the
pic”
QUOTE OF THE DAY #2 - "Number 9,
5 man beat down" Ask Phil what the hell that means
If you have articles, pictures, anecdotes,
whatever, please forward them. If you don't have my email address,
here it is once more: webmaster@lairdslair.com
While the Cream of the Crop was barnstorming it's
way to an impressive victory, we could not escape the long shadow cast by the
course ranger.
After a 55 minute wait at the 12th tee, in
which time some team members downed a couple beers, the team faced it's first
and only critical decision of the day in the 12th fairway. After opening with 4
straight birdies, we decided to take their sweet-ass time making the decision
which drew the ire of the course ranger.
This troll came driving out from under his
bridge hollering, "You goddam guys are holding up the whole golf course. You're
turning a 5 hr. 58 minute round into a 6 hour round for everybody." After
alerting him to the fact that he was smoking crack and inviting him to go have
sex with himself, he proceeded to follow the winning group all the way around
the rest of the golf course. He continued to taunt, heckle, and bother
throughout the round and even tried to kill us by demanding we park in the 110
degree sunshine rather than seek out a shady spot.
Never was that more clear than behind the 15th
tee, an isolated part of the golf course with a patch of grass in the shade and
away from civilization. Finally, a chance to retreat from the sun.
"Get that goddam cart back on the cart path,"
he bellowed. "You guys are the worst bunch of non-listening, time-taking,
jerk-weeds to ever grace this palacial estate." Undaunted, we continued our
march towards victory, thumbing our noses at the troll along the way.
In hindsight, it turns out that he was right
about one thing. That small patch of grass behind the 15th tee, out of play for
mortals, was visited twice later in the day by one Shad Huffer. Taking flight
from the 12th tee, the shot required a high-right bomb, traveling about 250
yards out and 325 yards right. Good thing we kept the goddam carts on the path.
Contributed by Phil Laird
Laaaary - After imbibing too
much potato juice and moments after learning that he had lost yet
another scorecard playoff at Longaberger
A customer arrives at
a car lot for a new car. The salesman steers him
toward the top of the line model with all the newest bells and whistles.
While they're out on the test drive, the salesman tells the potential
buyer that the radio is so advanced, it understands voice commands. To
demonstrate, the salesman says "classical", and wouldn't you know it, a
classical station is automatically tuned in. He tells the driver to try,
and he says "classic rock". Before you can blink, Led Zepplin is pulsing
through the speakers.
The driver is duly impressed and is about
to comment on how cool that is, when some punk kid in a riced out civic
cuts him off. The driver yells "ASSHOLE"
Today's Fun Facts - While you wait
for further updates
"Just
Aim for the 150 off the tee - IF there is a stake in the middle of the
fairway."
