| PERSONAL MEMOIR |
2010 Jekyll – The Same
Thing, Yet Different
by Phil Laird
 I
had an absolute ball at Jekyll this year. Getting there was a
real bitch, driving through the night the weekend before with
three kids in the back…I needed an antidote, and once again
Jekyll did not disappoint.
From the first tee-ball at our new and preferred warm-up round
location, to the cramping and anal leakage that occurred on the
way to the island after eating at Joe’s Shit-house, the trip got
off to a normal start. Global cooling kept temperatures nice and
frosty for us most of the trip, however any rain was held at bay
by the strong winds and cool temperatures. I think I tied a
record for holes played in a week with 216 holes. That would be
11 rounds and two bonus scramble nines; amazing given the fact
that the carts would only make it about 5 holes before
lifelessly turning into a pile of goo.
Much of Jekyll was predictable, including:
Friendly staff at Jekyll that now treats us as royalty.
* Trash can coolers allowed freely on course (see above).
* Best burger going.
* Matt takes off one day to sleep.
* Someone gets badly injured.
* Smooth check-in at the Quality Inn with the friendly evening
staff.
* Ridiculous check-out at the Quality Inn thanks to Hagatha and
the cranky morning staff. I interrupted Hagatha from her
back-shaving to check me out. She blamed their “new system”
which was, incredibly, installed while we were staying at the
Inn. (That makes it six years in a row that they’ve gotten a new
“system” the first week of December.) Hagatha announces the
balance due in the form of a question, “Does that sound right?”
Of course, the bill was not right. Hagatha then turned into a
conservationist, showing extreme displeasure about the number of
printed pages required to assemble a bill. Once again, another
30 minutes of my life that I’ll never have back.
New perks included:
Time-Out sports bar, where they host the best church parties.
* Morgan’s also has soup.
* Yuengling flows freely from bottles.
* Vodka can be mixed with almost anything, including diet tonic.
* Alleged Kevin Bacon sighting
* Dan Pickett performs on casting couch.
* AQUA-MAN
I still think Jekyll is the sore-pecker deal. Of course, we had
a few more drop off the tour this year. MIA was Mr. Andrew Bratt,
several of the Fletcher clan, Dr. Shad Michael Huffer
(Creationist), Hemi I, and Hemi II. Is Jekyll-fatigue setting in
for some of the island-goers? I, for one, am still very pleased
to head to the island each year. As Brian noted during the final
lunch at Morgan’s, “only 51 more weeks to Jekyll!”
Still, we should take a reflective look every once in a while I
suppose.
Calendar – Are we going the right time of year? Global cooling
sucks – It would be nice to be able to wear shorts once in a
while on the golf trip, and not freeze off our nards during the
morning round. One of the best features of the golf trip is the
escape from shittier weather it provides for us northerners.
However, it is a teaser when you return home to three months of
brutal weather. Perhaps a late February escape would make more
sense from that perspective. In that case, only 8 more weeks to
Jekyll!
* Location – Jekyll is very convenient for Steve, and family
gives Brian a legitimate reason to head to the area. I don’t
think I’d want to consider anywhere north of Jekyll in the
winter (see comments re: Global Cooling.) I might consider
somewhere south of Jacksonville.
* $$$ - Sore Pecker deal is hard to beat. I’m sure that any
other resort we’d consider would be more than the standard
$100/day for hotel, meals, and 36+ holes with cart.
* Access – What other resort could offer 3 nice golf courses,
with a staff that caters to our whims and usually gives us our
own golf course?
In any event, I was sad to leave the island, just as I have been
each of the past 17 years.
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| INJURY REPORT |
| Steve Hobbled by Misstep Into Enormous Black Hole At Jekyll! |
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 Steve
is still suffering the effects of a misstep into a cavernous
hole on Pine Lakes last week during the Jekyll golf trip.
His left ankle continued to get worse the last couple of days of
the trip and by the time he got back to Jacksonville he couldn't
put any weight on it.
A trip to the doctor revealed a bad sprain with some broken bone
spurs floating around in there. He's currently wearing a boot
just like the one pictured left. The ankle is severely
swollen. Steve was able to procure some painkillers from
the Doctor. The prognosis is that things should improve in
a couple of weeks.
Just goes to prove that golf is not without its' hazards. |
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| Jekyll Scores |
Compiled by Matt Fletcher
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Wed |
Wed |
Thur |
Thur |
Fri |
Fri |
Sat |
Sat |
Sun |
Avg |
| |
IM |
PL |
PL |
OL |
OL |
JC-IM |
PL |
OL |
? |
|
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Phil |
79 |
79 |
77 |
76 |
86 |
|
77 |
75 |
|
78.43 |
| Larry |
84 |
82 |
DNP |
83 |
DNP |
|
DNP |
84 |
|
83.25 |
| Matt |
77 |
81 |
88 |
82 |
DNF |
|
100 |
97 |
|
87.50 |
| Brian |
86 |
90 |
90 |
89 |
97 |
|
92 |
84 |
|
89.71 |
| Dan |
101 |
91 |
90 |
91 |
100 |
|
85 |
94 |
|
93.14 |
| Steve |
95 |
100 |
DNP |
92 |
DNP |
|
DNP |
89 |
|
94.00 |
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Here are the scores from Jekyll. I can't
find the card from Sunday
morning and can't even remember what I shot that day. It
is thought that the Laird's retained the Jekyll Cup but I'm not
sure.
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| 2010 Jekyll Photographs - Click to Embiggen |
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| We Got Mail! |
| I received the following email from Tom
Drake. I asked him if I could post it since I thought everyone
would enjoy it. |
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I've been visiting your site for a few
years. You see, it's about this time of year that I start
getting pumped for my Jekyll trip.
Every year (not sure how many now...I have to ask the "old
guys") we have approximately 40 guys travel to Jekyll for more
golf, booze, bad food, and crappy hotel rooms than any man
should endure. One round on Friday, two rounds a day from
Saturday through Tuesday, and one final scramble on Wednesday.
All these rounds and never the same format!!
We go at the end of April every year, so I imagine the weather
is better than when you take your trip. The excitement of the
Masters is still in the air, the beginning of baseball season,
and sometimes the Kentucky Derby is in the works too.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your Jekyll updates
because they help increase that excitement that gets in the
veins as you make the plans to head out there for another great
trip. I travel all the way from Phoenix, but most of the guys
are east coasters.
As I look through the jokes and stories from your trips, you'd
be surprised how similar our experiences have been. Our group
has been going for about 30 years. We used to stay at the 5 star
Georgia Coast Inn because of the bar.....but that was knocked
down a few years ago.
Take care,
Tom Drake |
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| Record Year for Alcohol Consumption? |
| by Laaarry Laird |
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 While
I'm unsure that records exist, I would venture to say that 2010
was a record year for alcohol consumption. With just 6
participants imbibing and 12 cases of beer consumed, the year
was likely the wettest on record.
Steve was watching his intake pretty closely because of the
amount of pain killers he was ingesting so the bulk of the
drinking fell to the other five. I welcome others' thoughts on
this subject as I seem to be short some brain cells
and....mutter, mutter, mutter.... |
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| How 'bout it? |
| This site needs content! Pictures,
video, and articles even vaguely pertaining to the trip. Email
whatever you've got to
larry@lairdslair.com |
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| Joe Says: "You'll have the shits shortly,
lad!" |
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| An ACE in the making |
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Scared Shitless
Award - Dan - #17 at Pine Lakes with Swamp Man
Garmin Award - Larry, Steve, Phil - Getting lost trying
to find TimeOut sports bar
Campbell Soup Award - Steve and Larry having soup
everyday for lunch
Surface of the Sun Award - Breakfast room at the
Quality Inn
It's not me, its the system Award - Quality Inn
Deadman's Hole - 14 at Oleander
Mr. Par 3 - Dan - the entire trip
AAA Award - Cart boys at Jekyll Island Golf Club
Mr. Personality Award - 4th year in a row goes to Tony the
Starter
Photo Finish Award: - Phil Sprinting to the bathroom
after dinner at Capt'n Joes
Horse Champs - Matt and Phil
"Looker" Award - Dos Consuelo
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